I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Randomize
