Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
