like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
