Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
I forget how to act sober
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
