ugly people sure do ruin things
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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