can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Randomize
