dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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