She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Randomize
