East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
