i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
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