this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
