Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
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