Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Randomize
