So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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