the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Randomize
