I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
