There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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