My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Randomize
