If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Randomize
