I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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