There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
