I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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