Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Randomize
