Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize
