Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
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