Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
