you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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