u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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