Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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