grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
