I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
