The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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