I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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