Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
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