Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
