Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
