Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
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