Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
