Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
