I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Randomize
