i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
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