I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Text me some of your sweat
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
