how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
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