K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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