Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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