So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
