No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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