So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
