thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
