my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
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