Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
