I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
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